As readers of this column are likely to become Newbies to the world of quarantine, let me share some discoveries now that my wife Carol and I are in Week Three of our self-imposed house confinement (with daily walks in surrounding vineyards) --
1. The later you sleep in each morning… the fewer hours have to go by before it is reasonably close to 5 o'clock for your first cocktail of the day.
I normally awaken at 5.30 am… but found it intolerable to wait 11.5 hours for my first cocktail… so now I sleep in until 9 am… and only have to wait 8 hours until my first Gin & Tonic.
2. If you replace the batteries in your kitchen clock with old, previously discarded, batteries which no long work, then you can justify having your first Gin & Tonic at just about any hour you think “feels like 5 o'clock.”
3. In the event that 5 o'clock sneaks up on you and you don’t wish to start making a gin cocktail from scratch, make the recipe below ahead of time, keeping a gallon of this pre-made Martini in your freezer.
All you have to do is head to the freezer whenever it feels like 5 o'clock.. and pour yourself a slushy Martini.
For friends in Napa Valley….. as an additional health protection you may wish to follow my rather unorthodox, prophylactic health measure: we built a moat and filled it with hydrochloric acid and coronavirus-eating crocodiles…. and have lowered the portcullis, which has been reinforced with an impenetrable coronavirus-kevlar material.
And now for something completely different:
Pre-mixed slush Martini recipe:
5 ounces of (preferably) Gordon’s or Beefeater Gin
2 ounces distilled water (works better than tap water)
1 ounce dry vermouth (works best with Dolin)
2 lemon twists, or olives
This recipe makes 8 ounces of liquid, which equals two to four Martinis, depending on how big you make them and how lightweight you are in holding your liquor.
Double, triple, or quadruple the recipe and store the premix in as large a sealable bottle as you have. The premix never goes bad. Store in freezer.
Much thanks to my good friend, David Smith, in San Francisco, who turned me on to this brilliant drink. I have known David 54 years and this bit of wisdom is one of the best things he ever shared with me!
PS: If you like vodka more than gin, I pity your underprivileged tastebuds - but go ahead, and ruin the integrity of this recipe by replacing gin with tasteless, colorless, jejeune vodka!
Step 1
Combine the gin, distilled water and vermouth in a mixing vessel. Using a funnel, transfer mixture into a glass bottle.
Repeat, making as many units of the pre-made Martini as you wish.
Seal the bottle and keep in the freezer.
Step 2
When mixture is fully chilled, pour 3 to 4 ounces into a chilled cocktail glass.(If the contents of the bottle are slightly slushy when you remove it from the freezer, give the bottle a shake before you pour out contents).
Garnish each glass with lemon twist or olive.
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